Be Mine
by JenSurname
Summary: A clandestine relationship can be exciting, thrilling, exhilarating - but is it enough? Title taken from R.E.M. song of the same name. My first attempt at a multi-chapter story.
1. I never thought of this as funny

Chapter 1: I never thought of this as funny

 _I never thought of this as funny_  
 _It speaks another world to me_  
 _I want to be your Easter bunny_  
 _I want to be your Christmas tree_

Her back slammed against the door of the stall as it crashed shut behind her, she heard the lock slide closed and threw her head back, banging it hard on the wooden door as the other woman's lips found her neck, kissing and nipping at her skin as her hands roughly squeezed her breasts through the fabric of her little black dress.

She let out a quiet gasp and tried to speak, but was immediately silenced by a rough, urgent, open-mouthed kiss. She could barely move, pushed up against the stall door and pinned there by the woman in front of her, their bodies flush against one another, their lips clashing, hands clutching and grasping and pulling at fabric and flesh.

She slid her hands into the taller woman's hair, closing her fingers and trying to pull her even closer, moaning into the kiss as the hand on her breast squeezed just a little _too_ hard, if such a thing were even possible. She couldn't remember a time when she felt a need like this, when she'd felt so overwhelmed by another person, when she'd felt so desperate and consumed by _want_ like this. She wanted this. She wanted more than this. She couldn't get enough.

She was dimly aware of the background volume increasing briefly then fading as the bathroom door opened allowing the music from the club to rush in before receding to a dull thud once more with the closing of the door, but was more concerned with the hand currently dragging her dress up her thigh and the fingers dipping inside her lace underwear to spare it any thought.

Until, "Piiiiiiiiiiiper! Piperrrrrrr are you in here?"

Both women froze in position as the unmistakeable shrill voice of Piper's best friend filled the bathroom.

"Piiiiiiiiiiperrrrrrrrrr?"

Piper looked up at the other woman, holding her breath, her eyes wide and as she slowly removed a hand from her companion's long dark hair and placed one finger against her own lips in a silent plea for her to remain quiet.

"Piper? Pipe?"

They listened, unmoving, as they heard Polly call Piper's name again. Their faces were so close that Piper could feel the warm breath of her partner against her cheek as she stood perfectly still, one hand still in place on Piper's left breast, the other paused at the edge of her panties, fingertips having just made it inside the lacy edge.

When Polly began making her way through the bathroom, banging on doors whilst still calling Piper's name, Alex looked at Piper and nodded once — short and fast — at the stall door, issuing the unspoken instruction to respond. Piper's eyes widened and she shook her head quickly, mouthing the word 'no' silently.

Alex looked at Piper, then the door and nodded her head towards it again, more pronounced this time, pointedly directing the shorter woman to respond, her eyes fixed on Piper's. Piper again shook her head quickly, her facial expression changing to clearly convey a plea as she again mouthed "No," but following it this time with an additional silent "Please."

Polly was moving ever closer, banging on doors and pausing to peer underneath some of them as she searched for her friend, calling her name and dragging out the first syllable in the way she always did when she had too much alcohol in her bloodstream. Piper was steadfastly remaining silent, standing stock-still, backed up against the stall door and clearly had no intention of revealing herself. Alex watched her for another moment, then moved away very slightly so she could clearly see Piper's face, then she tilted her head to the side very slightly, pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, raised one eyebrow and almost - _almost_ \- smiled as she slowly moved her left hand, sliding her fingers lower inside Piper's underwear and over the narrow line of trimmed pubic hair that led to… "No!"

Piper grabbed Alex's wrist to stop her, blurting the word out loudly before she could even think about it.

Alex stepped back and grinned smugly, withdrawing her hand and moving back towards the toilet as she heard Polly stop a door away and say Piper's name again, a little quieter now, a little more certain.

Piper scowled, then banged her head back against the door, looking up at the ceiling in frustration.

"Piper? Piper is that you? Are you okay or are you dead in there?"

Alex smiled, still watching Piper as she climbed up onto the toilet, placing her feet on the seat and perching herself on the porcelain cistern behind her. She placed her elbows on her knees, laced her fingers and rested her chin on them as she continued to watch Piper's discomfort and frustration unfold in front of her.

Piper threw her hands out, gesturing towards Alex then shrugging, silently asking her what the fuck she was doing climbing all over the toilet, as Polly waited less-than-patiently one door away.

"Piper? Seriously girl, if you're dead in there I'll… Piper! Piper, I can see your damn shoes. I know it's you, they're _my_ shoes. What are you _doing_?"

Piper looked down past the shoes she'd borrowed from her friend for the evening and could just make out one hand and a tumble of hair as Polly crouched on hands and knees to peer under the stall door. She looked over at Alex who sat up straight and moved her hands in a sweeping gesture towards her own feet, drawing her attention to the fact that they were up on the seat and safely out of view of Piper's insistent and persistent friend.

Piper's expression softened and she moved her open hand from her chin outwards towards Alex, signing the words 'thank you' as well as mouthing them.

"I'm here, Pol." Piper eventually said, quietly. "In here. Not dead. Just here."

"What're you doing? Open the door!"

"I'm okay. Just give me a minute."

"You've been missing for twenty, Piper. The guys were worried about you. Come on out here."

Alex sat back on the cistern and placed her clasped hands over her heart. "Awwww! The guys!" she silently mouthed, good-naturedly mocking Piper and her friends.

"I haven't been gone for twenty. I've been gone for ten, tops. If I'd been gone for twenty I'd be in a much, much better state than I am now. Believe me."

Alex smirked at this and wet her lips with her tongue. "Hell yeah you would," she breathed.

They both heard the hesitation in Polly's response before she replied, her voice a little softer "Are you sick? Do you need anything?"

"I'm okay," Piper responded. "I wasn't feeling great, I just needed…"

"Did you vomit?" Polly interrupted. "Did you, Piper? Because I swear, if you got any on my shoes that'll sorely test this friendship. They're genuine nappa leather. Italian! Please tell me you didn't get any on my shoes."

Piper looked at Alex, an expression of disbelief on her face as she gestured through the door towards Polly in a can-you-actually-believe-this-shit kinda way. Alex grinned, then nodded quickly, both eyebrows raised, eyes open wide as she tried to convey that Piper should play along and say the shoes had taken a hit.

Piper smiled, then forced a solemn tone as she quietly replied "Your shoes are okay, babe."

Alex screwed her face up. "Babe?" she mouthed.

Piper ignored her, continuing "I made it just in time. I promise you your shoes are safe. I'm just cleaning myself up, I'll be out in a couple of minutes."

"Are you sure? Do you need a hand?"

Alex smirked at this, then drew the index and middle fingers of her left hand slowly above her upper lip, inhaling deeply as she did so.

Piper paused before replying, her breath catching in her throat as she watched Alex closely. "No no, it's okay. I have everything I need right here. Thanks though."

"Okay, I'll go tell the guys you're on your way. Larry'll be relieved, he was really concerned about you. I told you he was a good guy, Piper. You should give him a chance."

"Not now, Pol. Please. I can't do this right now."

"I really don't know what your problem is with him, you know. He's a great guy and he is _so_ into you…"

"Polly." Piper's voice had a sharp edge to it now and her friend didn't miss it.

"Okay, okay," she sighed. "Clean yourself up. I'll go make your excuses and I'll see you in five."

Piper didn't reply, she just leaned back against the cool wood of the door and let her eyes close for a moment as she breathed a sigh of relief, listening as the music from the club burst through the outer door again, then quieted as it closed behind her friend.

"So what is it?" Alex murmured, having moved up close to Piper again. She gently stroked two fingers along the blonde's jaw as she expanded on her question, teasing. "Larry's _such_ a great guy and he's _so_ into you, what's your problem with him?"

Piper leaned into Alex's touch a little, then turned her face toward her.

"He isn't you."


	2. I'll strip the world you must live in

**A/N:** Many thanks for the feedback from the first chapter, it's much appreciated and it's definitely a motivator to continue. Cheers.

* * *

Chapter 2: I'll strip the world that you must live in

 _I'll strip the world that you must live in  
_ _of all its godforsaken greed  
_ _I'll ply the tar out of your feathers  
I'll pluck the thorns out of your feet  
you and me  
_ _you and me_

Piper left the bathroom, leaving Alex alone in the stall. She weaved her way through the crowded club, skirting the dance-floor as she made her way back to her friends. She slid back into the booth, offering quiet apologies that she didn't mean to her friends.

Larry moved closer and draped a caring, protective arm around her shoulders. Piper immediately shuddered at the contact, but quickly apologised and explained this away as a symptom of her current shaky health.  
Polly frowned at her. Larry didn't notice. Pete distracted them both with the offer of another round of drinks.

Piper glanced over towards the bathroom and was sure she caught a glimpse of leather jacket and long black hair making its way towards the exit and she dipped her head, biting her lip gently, hoping her friends didn't notice the smile she couldn't suppress and the flush that rose up her cheeks at just the merest glimpse of Alex.

A hand appeared in front of her face, fingers clicking repeatedly. "Earth to Piper, come in Piper."

She looked up quickly, startled and looked at Polly in confusion. "Huh?"

"A drink, Piper. Pete's going to the bar. What do you want to drink?"

"Oh, um, I…"

She looked around the table, then glanced back in the direction of the bathroom, then the exit of the club.

Pete waited patiently, Polly looked at her expectantly.

"I, um… I don't know Pol. I'm not feeling too good. I think maybe I should call it a night."

"It's only a little after eleven!"

"I know, yeah, I feel terrible about it," she looked at Larry "I really do, I'm sorry, but," she looked back at Polly, "I should go. I really don't feel good."

Polly looked like she was about to protest, so she continued quickly "and I'm really worried about your shoes, Pol. It was a close call earlier and I'd never forgive myself if it happens again and I ruin them."

This had the desired effect and Polly quickly transitioned from argumentative obstacle to supportive friend.

"Of course, yeah. That's okay. You're right, you should go. Get some rest, that'll help. I'll give you a call tomorrow morning, see if you're feeling any better. See if I can get you anything. You're right, go home, sleep."

Larry, ever the optimist, saw a glint of a chance and seized it. "I'll take you home. Make sure you're okay."

Piper looked at him quickly, surprised and found for a moment that she was lost for words. Flustered, she eventually said "That's kind of you, Larry, but I really can't let you do that. It might be contagious. _I_ might be contagious. I don't want to be responsible for making you unwell too, especially when you're just being so kind."

She threw a quick, helpless, panicked glance at Polly who, fortunately, picked up on the non-verbal cues from her friend and backed her up. "She's right, let her go. You have that job interview in two days time, you have to make sure you're one hundred per cent for that, Larry. You can't take the chance."

The mention of the job interview was the deal-breaker, clearly, because as soon as he was reminded of this Larry backed away from Piper as quickly as he could, pulling his arm from her shoulders as if he'd been burned, seemingly afraid he would catch whatever fictitious infection she had via skin absorption.

Piper said her goodbyes mixed in with fake apologies, promised to take a cab straight home and got the hell out of there as quickly as she could.

Once out on the street, she stood for a moment and took a deep breath, enjoying the coolness of the night air in contrast to the oppressive heat inside the club. Letting the breath out slowly, she looked left, right, then left again before turning in that direction and beginning to walk. As she reached the corner of the building, she was aware of movement and wasn't at all surprised when Alex stepped out of the shadows to greet her.

"Hey kid," Alex smiled, checking her watch. "Seven minutes. Not bad."

Piper grinned. "I know, right? It would've been five but Limp Larry offered to take me home."

Alex laughed quietly at the nickname, then slipped her hand into Piper's as they rounded the corner and began to walk. "Did you continue with the ' _I'm so siiiiiick_ ' theme?"

"Yah-huh. Worked a treat."

"I worked out what's the matter with you, by the way."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You're suffering from a lack of Vitamin _me_."

Alex grinned and bumped her shoulder against Piper's as she delivered the last word. Despite herself, Piper laughed out loud.

"Is that your best line?"

"Best? I don't know. Does it make you want to sleep with me?"

Piper smiled coyly and declined to answer.

"You know," Alex continued as they reached the end of the block, "you really remind me of my pinky toe."

"What the… what? I remind you of your _pinky toe_?" Piper didn't know whether to be amused or outraged at this revelation.

"Yup. Because you're small, cute and I'm probably gonna bang you on my coffee table tonight."

Piper tried to feign outrage and slapped Alex lightly on her arm. "Alex!"

"Hey did you feel that?"

"What?"

"When you touched my jacket just then. Do you know what this is made of?"

"Umm, leather?"

"Nope," Alex replied with certainty, then giving Piper's hand a small squeeze she added with a firm nod " _girlfriend material_."

Piper laughed loudly again. "Oh God, these are _terrible_ , Alex. Do they ever work? Really?"

Alex shrugged and smiled a little. "Don't know. I haven't had to use them in quite a while."

"Because women just throw themselves at your feet, right?"

Alex stopped walking at this, but kept hold of Piper's hand, forcing her to stop too. She turned towards Alex.

"What?"

"My friend over there really wants your number so that she knows where to get hold of me in the morning," the brunette began, her voice flat, deadpanning the lines. "Are you a keyboard? Because you're just my type. What time do you get off? Can I watch? I've lost my number, can I just have yours? Oh hi, I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment? You should change your name to Google, because you have everything I'm searching for. Your dad must've been a terrorist because you're _da bomb_. I think there's something in your eye, oh wait, it's just a sparkle. Do you have a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them. Your hand looks heavy, let me hold it for you. I'd offer you a cigarette but you're already smoking hot. Do you happen to have a Band-Aid, because I scraped my knee falling for you. Do you have a name or can I call you mine? I hope you have pet insurance, because I'm about to destroy your pussy..."

"Alex!"

"What? You don't like my lines?"

Piper frowned. "That last one was horrible! I don't know. It's kinda weird how they all just trip off your tongue."

"Trust me kid, the only thing that's gonna be tripping off my tongue tonight is..."

Piper silenced her with just a glare.

Alex smiled a little and tugged Piper's hand, pulling her closer. Sliding her arms around her waist, Alex looked down at the blonde woman in silence for a moment.

When she spoke, she did so quietly. "If you were a vegetable, you'd be a _cute_ cumber."

Piper tutted and rolled her eyes and tried to step away, but Alex just tightened her hold and kept her in place.

Raising a hand to push a stray strand of hair from Piper's face, the taller woman spoke softly. "You wanna know what's the best thing in my life right now?" Piper shrugged one shoulder, so she continued "It's the first word of that question."

She waited, watching Piper's face as she processed this, noting the exact moment that she worked it out.

Before she could respond, Alex added. "Truth. Not a line."

She watched Piper's face soften, then leaned in slowly and kissed her softly on the lips. Piper smiled against her mouth, then murmured "So a line."

Alex grinned as she pulled away, taking hold of Piper's hand again as they resumed walking.

"Well okay, maybe it was a line. But it was a _good_ line!"

"Well yeah. I guess. It made me want to sleep with you, anyway." Piper smiled, glancing up at Alex as they walked.

Alex laughed quietly, moved closer to the shorter woman, released her hand and slung her arm around her shoulders.

"That dress looks great on you, by the way."

"Yeah? Thanks."

"Yeah. But it'll look even better on my bedroom floor."

Piper groaned. "Are you gonna continue this all night?"

"I might," Alex grinned, "but you're gonna come home with me anyway."

"I am?"

"Sure you are, kid. Who could resist this charm?"

She hailed a taxi, opened the rear door then turned back to Piper. As she swept her arm towards the open door, gesturing for Piper to enter, she grinned. "I'm gonna have sex with you tonight, Pipes. So you might as well be there."

Piper thought that was probably the worst line of them all. But she got in the damn cab.


	3. And if I choose your sanctuary

Chapter 3: If I choose your sanctuary

 _and if I choose your sanctuary  
I want to wash you with my hair  
_ _I want to drink of sacred fountains  
_ _and find the riches hidden there_

A slant of light gradually moved around the room in the early morning, eventually falling over Piper's face. She threw an arm over her eyes in a futile attempt to stave off the new day, then rolled onto her side, slowly waking.

The first thing she saw as she blinked open her eyes was a bottle of _Healthy Vibes_ lube and a purple bra. Neither of these things were her own and she frowned, trying to get her bearings, uncertain of her surroundings.

 _Alex_ , she thought, a slow smile beginning to form as the memory of the previous evening came back to her. She turned in bed and reached for the other woman, finding only cold, crumpled bedsheets where she'd expected her to be. She shuffled across the bed a little, resting her head on Alex's pillow as she listened for signs of life in the apartment. The bed smelled of sex and perfume and… something else. Something familiar that she couldn't quite place.

Piper stretched in bed and slowly sat up. She combed her fingers through her hair and frowned slightly as she came across a sore spot on the back of her head, having no recollection of how it'd got there. She looked around the room, then stood and pulled on a black Pearl Jam t-shirt from the top of Alex's laundry basket before leaving the bedroom in search of the other woman.

She found her seated at the counter in the kitchen, dressed in skinny black jeans and a white tank top, nursing a cup of coffee, laptop open in front of her. Alex glanced at her as she entered the room then looked back at her computer. "Nice tee," she murmured.

"Thanks. I've always been a fan of Kurt Cobain."

Alex choked on her mouthful of coffee, coughing and spluttering as it came out of her nose.

Piper grinned and threw a kitchen towel at her, before kissing her on the side of the head. "Kidding," she whispered, then moved away to pour herself a coffee from the pot on the counter.

Alex wiped her face as she watched Piper move around her kitchen. The t-shirt only just covered her ass and watching it rise up as Piper reached into the cupboard for a coffee mug brought a smirk to Alex's face and completely wiped away any lingering irritation with the Pearl Jam / Nirvana quip.

"I can feel you watching me, you know" Piper said, without turning around.

Alex shrugged and didn't even try to deny it. "Half-naked hot girl in my kitchen wearing nothing but my favourite t-shirt. Of course I'm watching. I'm only human."

Piper turned, coffee in hand and smiled shyly. "You think I'm hot?"

"Duh."

She leaned back against the counter and took a sip of coffee as Alex returned her attention to her computer.

"I have a sore head" she said, remembering the tender spot from earlier.

Alex didn't even turn around. "Pain killers, second drawer down."

Piper frowned slightly. "I don't know how I did it."

"Sex injury."

"Excuse me?"

"Sex injury," Alex repeated, attention still on the screen of her computer. "They happen all the time. You banged it on the door in the bathroom stall, moments before I was interrupted from banging _you_."

"Ahhhh." Piper nodded, her hand moving to touch the back of her head, smiling a little as she remembered. "Of course."

Alex typed something on her laptop before closing the lid and spinning on the stool to face the other woman. "Consider yourself lucky," she began as she pushed her glasses up and into her hair, "I've got a sore fucking mouth."

Piper frowned. "What's wrong with your mouth?"

Alex scrunched her face up, then took a mouthful of coffee, shaking her head.

Piper moved closer, brushed Alex's hair over her shoulder and placed her coffee on the counter beside her.

"Al?"

"Hmm?" Alex replied, looking up at the other woman who moved to stand between her legs.

She tilted her head slightly, observing Alex's face carefully, looking for any signs of injury, concern showing in her eyes. "What's the matter with your mouth?"

Alex slid her coffee mug alongside Piper's on the counter, then placed both of her hands on the blonde woman's hips. "Sex injury," she replied quietly, looking at Piper's throat. She wet her lips with her tongue and moved her eyes slowly up to meet the other woman's, trying hard to keep her expression and tone serious. "You broke my tongue, Pipes."

Piper's eyes widened momentarily, then she started to laugh. Alex grinned up at her. "It's true," she protested. "It's not funny, kid, seriously, it's fucking killing me!"

"What did you do?"

"No no, what did _you_ do, you mean."

Piper waved her hand dismissively. "Whatever. What's the matter with it?"

"It's this little bit here," Alex started, opening her mouth and trying to talk whilst showing Piper the problem. "Ith, ike, dorn o umfum…"

"Torn? What's torn?"

" _Ith_! Wite werrrr…."

Piper frowned, trying to peer inside Alex's mouth. Alex appeared to be trying to lift her tongue and point beneath it.

"Keep still..." Piper said, twisting a little to afford herself a better view. "Oh, _wow_. Oh, wow Al, how did you do _that_?"

There was a small tear in Alex's lingual frenulum.

"Do you see it? What is it?" Alex asked, finally removing her fingers from her mouth.

"It's that little bit that connects your tongue to the bottom of your mouth. There's a tiny little tear in it."

"It hurts. Are you sure it's only tiny? It hurts like hell."

Piper rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "You're such a wuss. Suck it up, buttercup."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Really? You cause me this injury that's giving me a considerable amount of discomfort and the best you can come up with is '' _suck it up, buttercup''_? Thanks for your support!"

"I'm not sure why I'm getting the blame for this. How is it _my_ fault?"

Alex leaned back a little so she could clearly see Piper's face. "Really?"

"Really!"

"You really haven't worked it out?"

Alex watched Piper's expression as she thought about this, trying hard to recall how she might have been the cause of this peculiar injury. She realised after a moment that Piper wasn't going to get it, so decided to give her a hint.

Leaning back against the counter on her elbows, Alex let her head fall back and eyes close. "Oh yeah," she breathed, "right there, Al… oh _fuck_ , yeah, that's it… don't stop, please don't stop… ohhhh…"

She heard Piper's quiet gasp and lifted her head again just in time to see the blonde's hand fly to cover her mouth. "No!" she exclaimed from behind her hand.

Alex nodded, smirking. "Yep."

"Oh my God, I'm _so_ sorry."

Alex shrugged and gave the other woman a half-smile. "Hazard of the job. You really made me work for it last night, kid."

"I'm sorry," Piper repeated, "I had no idea, I just, you were just, it was just…"

"You gonna finish a sentence, or should I just fill in the blanks myself?" she grinned, reaching for the other woman again and pulling her closer.

Alex slid her arms around Piper's waist and turned her head to the side, resting it on her chest as she cuddled in close. She felt Piper's hands run lightly over her shoulders and then her cheek rest against the top of her head.

"Coconut," Piper murmured.

"Hmm?"

"Coconut. When I woke this morning I lay on your pillow and there was a smell I couldn't place and it was this. It's coconut."

"Mmm. Shampoo."

"I like it."

"I like _you_."

Both women smiled, then Alex moved away slightly and looked up. "Too much?"

"Never." Piper breathed as she dipped her head and kissed the brunette softly on the lips.

Alex moved her hands to Piper's thighs and slowly slid them upward as they kissed, her hands gliding over her skin to her hips. She rubbed her thumbs in small circles over Piper's hipbones, her head tilted up into the kiss.

When they separated, Alex smiled up at the other woman. "That t-shirt looks great on you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, but it'll look even better…"

"On your bedroom floor?" Piper finished, smiling.

"It worked last night," Alex grinned "why change a winning formula?"

Piper took a step back, grabbed Alex's wrist and pulled her back towards the bedroom, as soon as they got there Alex stepped closer and held the shorter woman's hips from behind, pressing her lips to the side of her neck, kissing just below her ear.

"You smell so good, Pipes," Alex whispered, biting gently on her earlobe. She moved her hands up under the t-shirt, stroking Piper's skin slowly, holding her close. Piper leaned back, lifting her right arm and sliding her hand against Alex's neck and into her hair, holding onto her as she felt fingers ghost across her breast, her nipple hardening at just the slightest of touches.

She turned her head, straining around, lips seeking contact with Alex's skin, any contact at all. Alex obliged, moving her head forward, her lips meeting Piper's as her hand squeezed her breast, other hand sliding down the crease of her hip.

Both women were startled just a moment later when the synth intro to "The Final Countdown" by Europe filled the quiet room.

"What the fuck?"

"Shit! Sorry, sorry, it's my phone…"

Piper sprang forward, rummaging through her bag at the side of Alex's bed. "It's my phone, I'm sorry, it's…" she glanced at the display as she sat on the edge of the bed, then looked up at Alex. "It's Polly."

"Leave it."

"I can't."

"Sure you can. Just put the phone down and leave it."

"She's calling to check I'm okay. After last night. She'll worry if I don't answer."

"Piper, leave it." Alex's voice was quiet but firm and the other woman looked up at her, noticing the change in her tone.

Alex raised a questioning eyebrow, but otherwise remained silent. Piper looked back at the phone in her hand just as it stopped ringing.

"Well that's that decision made then," she muttered.

Alex stayed silent.

Piper looked up at her. "She's just worried about me, because of last night."

"Because she thinks you were sick."

"Yeah."

Alex nodded. "Because you lied to her."

"Well, _technically_ , I guess, yeah."

"Because you'd rather she think you're _sick_ , than with me."

Piper opened and closed her mouth twice before standing and moving towards the other woman. She'd taken only two steps when the phone in her hand started to ring again. She paused and looked at the display. Polly.

She looked at Alex and gave her a helpless look, before accepting the call and raising the phone to her ear.

By the time the call ended a couple of minutes later, Alex was gone. A note sat atop the kitchen counter, it simply said: _leave_


	4. I'll eat the lotus and peyote

Chapter 4: I'll eat the lotus and peyote

 _I'll eat the lotus and peyote.  
_ _I want to hear the caged bird sing  
_ _I want the secrets of the Temple  
_ _I want the finger with the ring  
_ _you and me  
_ _you and me  
you will see_

Piper waited two hours, made eleven unanswered phone calls in those two hours and left four increasingly distressed voicemail messages. She eventually left Alex's apartment, wearing the same little black dress she'd arrived in and Polly's shoes.

Alex sat in the coffeeshop on the corner, she'd taken a seat in the back with a view of the street and watched as Piper exited onto the pavement. She lifted her phone and listened to the last of the four messages as she watched the blonde woman look left and right, then step up to the kerb as a taxi rounded the corner.

 _She looks so small,_ Alex thought, watching her wait at the roadside. Then her voice, sounding distant and hollow as the message began to play.

" _Al, please, please come home. I'm sorry, Al, I…_ " her voice trails off, there's a quiet sniff, then " _I don't want to fight with you. I want to make this right. Let me. Please, Alex. Let me make this right. I…"_ another pause, another sniff, then quieter with a hitch in her voice _"I love you, Alex._ "

Then a click as the message ended.

Alex sat bolt upright in her seat. Looked at the phone, then back out at Piper on the street. She could see the taxi slowing and saw Piper turning towards it, her eyes puffy and expression blank. She hit the button to replay the message and listened to it again. Then again.

As the door closed and the taxi pulled away, Alex bolted from her seat and ran to the door of the shop, spilling onto the street just as the car turned out of sight.

She stood on the pavement for half a minute, just looking at the empty street before returning to the shop, dropping a twenty on the table and leaving again.

She let herself back into her apartment and leaned back against the door. The place seemed colder somehow, silent and unwelcoming. She moved through into the kitchen and saw the two coffee cups, washed and now sitting upturned on the drainer. She made her way into the bedroom and found the bed made, with her Pearl Jam t-shirt folded and placed on the dresser.

She sat on the edge of the bed and placed her glasses on the bedside table. She rubbed her hands over her face and sighed heavily before lifting her legs up onto the mattress and lying down. Her eyes drifted over the swirls on the ceiling above her bed and she forced herself to slow her breathing and relax, focusing only on those ceiling swirls. She tried to clear her mind completely, slowly breathing in, breathing out. Breathing in, breathing out. Breathing in, breathing _did she really say the L word?_ out. Breathing in, breathing out. Breathing _it's something they never said, did she really say it?_ in, breathing out. Breathing _damn, Piper_ in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing _love_ out.

Alex groaned and sat up again. This wasn't working.

* * *

Piper leaned her head against the window in the back of the taxi, watching the city pass her by in a blur as she headed away from Alex's apartment. The driver took one look at her face when she entered the vehicle and slid the privacy window closed as soon as he had the address of their destination. It was clear smalltalk wasn't on the cards with this one. Piper clutched her phone tightly in her hand and willed it to ring, but for once the damn thing remained silent. She squeezed her eyes closed and offered a silent prayer to _any God who might be listening, help me out here. Please. I can't do this on my own._

The taxi pulled up after fewer than ten minutes and Piper leaned forward, paid the driver and got out. She pressed a buzzer outside the apartment building and simply said " _It's me_ " when it was answered. She heard the familiar click of the door as it unlocked and pushed her way inside, then up the stairs. The apartment door was standing open when she reached it, so she let herself in and closed it quietly behind her.

"You look like shit," were the first words she heard, quickly followed by "Isn't that the dress you were wearing last night? Oh my God. Ohmygod, _Piperrrrrrrr_. You're doing the walk of shame! You're doing it! You're doing it right now!"

Piper slumped into an armchair and kicked off Polly's shoes. She shook her head slightly and looked up at her friend. "Not now, Pol. Please, don't give me a hard time about this now."

"You were sick!"

Piper shook her head again.

"You were! You were sick in the bathroom and you left early to go home and rest and… and… you were sick! You confirmed this to me not three hours ago. How the hell can you be doing the walk of shame _now_?"

"Who's doing the walk of shame?" Pete's sing-song voice entered the room and he quickly followed it, coming out of the bedroom fastening the final button on his shirt. He saw Piper sitting in the chair wearing last night's clothes and gave her a knowing smile. "Ahhhh. I see the culprit!"

Piper lowered her head, shaking it again. Pete paused and moved a little closer. "You okay, kiddo?"

He cast a concerned glance in Polly's direction when Piper didn't reply, then crouched beside the armchair. "Hey, c'mon sweetheart, it can't be that bad, surely. We've all done the walk at some point!"

Piper lifted her head, her eyes brimming with tears that were threatening to overflow and looked at him. Pete's surprise was clear and he looked over at Polly again, panic in his eyes. He was okay with banter, but this was looking serious and serious-girl-stuff was way out of his comfort zone.

He stood and backed away a couple of paces, before returning and ruffling Piper's hair gently, then retreating again. "I'll, ah, I'll leave you girls to it for a while. Take care of yourself, Piper, I'll kick his arse for you if you want me to. Just say the word, kiddo."

He kissed Polly on the cheek and left the apartment, giving her a look of apology mixed with concern as he pulled the door closed.

Polly moved to kneel on the floor by the armchair and placed her hand on Piper's knee. Very softly she asked "Are you hurt?"

Piper shook her head.

"Did someone do something to you?"

 _Yeah, broke my heart and it's all my own doing_ , Piper thought, but she just shook her head again.

"Come with me," Polly said, standing and offering Piper her hand. She accepted it and followed her best friend into the bathroom. Polly leaned in and turned on the shower then stepped away again. "Take a shower, a long one. I've leave some fresh clothes for you on my bed. Take your time. I'll go make coffee."

Piper nodded her head, lowering it and turning away from Polly so she wouldn't see the tears that began to fall.

Twenty minutes later she emerged into Polly's loungeroom again, looking a little more human. Her damp blonde hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail and she wore a pair of grey sweatpants and a blue Nirvana t-shirt. The irony of the shirt Polly had selected was not lost on her. It even prompted something bordering on a smile.

This time she chose the end of the couch, folding her legs under her as she sat. Polly emerged from the kitchen and placed a cup of coffee on the table in front of her. Piper thanked her quietly, reached for it and took a sip.

Polly sat at the opposite end of the couch and looked at her friend. "So. Are you ready to tell me what's going on?"

* * *

The phone rang four times then was answered with a brusque "Yes?"

"Hey ma," Alex replied, her voice quiet.

"Babycakes! It's so good to hear from you. How's my girl doing?"

"I've been better."

Alex listened, aware that the background sounds of her mother bustling around her small apartment stopped with those words. She held the phone tighter in her hand, listening to the static and pictured Diane moving into the loungeroom and sitting in the old rocking chair she'd had since Alex was a babe in arms.

"Tell me what's going on, sweetie."

Alex sighed and removed her glasses, then pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger.

"Alex? Talk to your momma."

"It's all so fucked up, ma." Alex said, her voice breaking.

"Oh, sweetie."

She shook her head, paused while she considered where to start, then said "There's this girl..."

She could hear the smile in her mother's voice as she replied "There's always some girl, hon."

"Not like this one."

It was her mother's turn to pause, then softly "Tell me about her."

"She's beautiful, ma. She takes my breath away. She has golden blonde hair and the most amazing blue eyes that always seem to have just a hint of mischief in them. She's smart and she's funny, she's clumsy as fuck and she makes me laugh all the time. We can talk for hours about everything and nothing, she laughs at my jokes and knows how I take my coffee and never ever forgets. She reads Foucault and Nietzsche and loves cheesy eighties pop, but listens to Coltrane and Miles Davis and gets them, too. She's sensible and she's crazy, she listens to me when I need her to and never judges me. She _gets_ me, ma. She… she's..."

"Married?"

"No!"

"Straight?"

"No, ma. She's not married _or_ straight."

"A Republican?"

"Jeez, mom. That was the next worst thing you could come up with?"

"Well no, the one I was thinking of was that she just isn't into you."

" _As if_."

Both women smiled at that.

"That's my girl."

There was a pause while both women gathered their thoughts and it was Diane who spoke next. "She sounds like a keeper."

"Yeah."

"I'm struggling to see the negatives here, hon."

"Yeah."

"Are you two, I don't know what you kids call it these days, an item?"

"Not really."

"Girlfriends?"

"Mmmmnope."

"Fuck buddies?"

"Mother!"

"Well come on, Al. You're not giving me much to work with here!"

"We hang out."

"You _hang out_." Alex could practically hear the inverted commas her mother placed around those words.

"Like, a lot."

"Okay. So you're friends?"

"I guess."

"With benefits?"

"The. Most. _Amazing_ benefits, ma. I can't even tell you."

"Please don't."

"I won't," Alex smiled.

"She's good though, huh?"

"You said not to tell you!"

Her mother laughed, a deep throaty sound that made Alex smile. She twisted a strand of hair around her finger absently, then said quietly "She's special, ma."

"Sounds like she has you hooked."

"Yeah."

"Do you love her?"

Alex breathed out heavily, a frown creasing her brow, declining to answer.

Her mother listened to the silence for a few seconds. "Mmmm," she murmured. "As I thought."

Alex stayed quiet, thinking.

"Is it a mutual thing?"

"I guess."

"You guess?"

"She told me she loved me. This morning. For the first time ever."

"Right," her mother began, "and how did that make you feel?"

"Happy. Scared. Confused."

"I get the first two, but, confused?"

"I'm her dirty little secret, mom."

She listened to her mother inhale and knew she was considering her next words carefully. Alex felt a lump rise to her throat and the familiar sting of tears in her eyes.

He mother cleared her throat, then said quietly "You're better than that, Alex."

"Mmhm."

There was nothing but silence and static on the line for the next two minutes, Diane giving her daughter the space to gather herself and regain some semblance of control.

"It's never easy, is it mom." Alex eventually said, her voice heavy with sadness and resignation.

"Nothing worth having ever is, sweetie."


	5. If you make me your religion

Chapter 5: if you make me your religion

 _that if you make me your religion  
_ _I'll give you all the room you need  
_ _I'll be the drawing of your breath  
_ _I'll be the cup if you should bleed_

"I met someone," Piper said, looking at her knees.

"Okayyyyy..."

Piper plucked at her lower lip with her thumb and finger, thinking.

"Last night?" Polly asked before taking a sip of coffee.

"Last spring," Piper replied, cringing a little, not daring to look at her friend.

Polly's eyes went wide. "Spring? But, but it's almost September, Piper!"

Piper nodded, turning her head away slightly. She blew gently into the cup then took a sip of her own coffee, not really knowing how to respond.

Polly remained quiet for about four seconds, which was almost a record for her, then asked "Why haven't you mentioned this before?"

This was a good question and one that Piper decided to answer with complete honesty. She looked over at her friend and held her gaze. "Because I didn't want you to be shitty with me and I knew you would be."

Polly's eyes widened. "Shitty with you? Why would I be shitty with you? If you've met somebody, that's great, Piper. That's fantastic. That explains why you're always so desperate to keep Larry at arm's length too. I'm not shitty with you, I'm really happy for you."

Piper looked down at her coffee without replying.

"Fuck, Piper. Why would you think I'd be pissed at you about this! It's great news. I was beginning to think you'd decided a life of celibacy was the way forward. Ever since your run in with that psycho lesbian from Williamsburg last year, I didn't think you were ever gonna get back in the saddle! What was her name again? She chewed you up and spat you out when she was done with you, the bitch. I thought she'd ruined you for anyone else ever."

"Alex," Piper whispered.

"Alex! Yeah, that's her. I'll tell you right now Piper, if I ever bump into her again..." her voice trailed off as she watched Piper whose head was hanging low again and seemed to be breathing a little less evenly.

She reached over and placed a hand on Piper's knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, "that's all in the past. Tell me about this new guy."

She sensed Piper's hesitation and paused then tilted her head to the side, looking at her friend curiously. "Guy?"

Piper shook her head gently.

"Girl?"

She nodded.

Polly let out a slow breath, then smiled a little. "I still don't fully get that, you know. I'll be honest with you."

Piper smiled weakly. "It's okay," she murmured, "just think of me as being non-discriminatory."

Polly chuckled and sat back in the couch again. She managed to allow the silence to sit for a whole six seconds this time before asking "You gonna tell me about her?"

Piper looked up from her coffee cup and gazed out of the window for a few seconds. She didn't look at her friend as she asked quietly "Tell me again what was so wrong about Alex."

Polly frowned. "There wasn't much right with her, was there?"

"Tell me," Piper repeated, still not looking at her friend.

"Well, there was the way she used you as her plaything while her _girlfriend_ who she failed to tell you about was outta town. There's that. There's the way she sucked you in and won your confidence and made you promises that she had no intention of keeping, there's that. There's the way her girlfriend _punched you in the face_ when she arrived home unexpectedly and found you in her bed. There's that. That one's a good one. There's the way Alex just threw your clothes at you and made you leave, rather than defend you, there's that too. There's the fact that she never even attempted to make contact with you afterwards or check how you were following being _physically assaulted_ because of her. That one's a doozy. There's the fact that, and correct me if I'm wrong here, but the fact that she broke your fucking heart, Piper."

Piper nodded and wiped away a silent tear with the back of her hand.

"Yeah," she whispered, "there's that."

Polly watched her for a moment, then shuffled along the couch until she was right beside her friend. She gave her an awkward one-armed hug.

"I fell hard," Piper breathed into her friend's shoulder.

"I know, honey."

They sat in silence for a few more seconds before Polly spoke again. "I don't know why you're doing this, babe. Why you're raking over old ground. Don't think about that now, that's all in the past. You licked your wounds for a while and you picked yourself up and you started all over again. Things are looking up, right? Since at least springtime, apparently!" She smiled at the woman beside her, suddenly struck by how fragile she looked.

"Come on now, gimme the goods. I want to know everything! Where did you meet her? Is she local? Is it serious? What does she do?"

"Do?"

"For a living, I mean. I didn't mean what does she _do_ , do. I know we're BFFs Piper, but there's a thing called oversharing you know." Polly smiled broadly, then slid to the other end of the couch again, turning sideways on so she could see Piper properly. "C'mon. Spill. What's her name?"

Piper leaned forwards and placed her coffee cup on the table, then sat back again and looked directly at her best friend.

"Alex," she said, with more confidence than she felt. "Her name is Alex."

* * *

Piper left Polly's apartment a couple of hours later. Their conversation had been fraught and emotive at times, filled with accusations and explanations. Voices were raised and tears were spilled and at the end of it all Polly still wasn't entirely certain why she was being blamed for Alex making Piper leave her apartment that morning, but she took it on the chin and Piper seemed to calm somewhat after that.

She left Polly's apartment a little after four in the afternoon and walked the forty minutes to her own building, hoping the fresh air would help to clear her head. The conversation with her best friend had been draining, but it was a conversation she should have had six months ago. The outcome was positive, or as positive as she could've hoped for anyway. Ultimately Polly just wanted her to be safe and happy and when she'd told her that she always felt both of these things when she was with Alex – and that there was no girlfriend with violent tendencies on the scene anymore – Polly softened. She even expressed a little bit of remorse on discovering that she'd interrupted something in the bathroom the previous evening, but only a little bit. Amusement was the overriding feeling in that scenario.

Of course, all of this was immaterial at present, because Alex still hadn't returned any of her calls.

She reached her building and slowly climbed the stairs to her floor, letting herself into her small apartment and throwing her bag onto a chair. She planned on changing out of Polly's sweats and into something of her own, then she'd return to Alex's place and she'd sit on the doorstep all night if she had to, awaiting her return.

She pulled the Nirvana t-shirt over her head and tossed it in the general direction of a chair, then turned to her wardrobe. She selected a pale blue silk blouse and had fastened two buttons when her phone started to ring. She snatched it up from the bed and almost burst into tears when she looked at the caller ID.

"Alex?"

"Yeah. Hi."

"Oh God, _Alex_. Thank God. Thank you. Thank you for calling."

"I think we need to talk." Alex's voice was quiet and flat.

Piper's stomach did a little somersault at those six words, a sickly feeling of dread creeping in.

"You still there?"

"I'm here," Piper replied quietly.

"Do you want to do this now?"

Piper shook her head. All of a sudden she didn't think she wanted to do it at all.

"Piper? Are you using gestures on the telephone again? I need words. Words work for me."

"Sorry," she mumbled. "Sorry."

"So are you gonna let me in?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm standing outside the door to your apartment, Pipes. Are you gonna let me in?"

Piper ended the call and rushed to the apartment door, flinging it open.

Alex stood before her, wearing the same jeans and tank top as this morning, but with her familiar leather jacket now completing the look. She looked pale, Piper thought, paler than usual. She was slipping her phone into the inside pocket of her jacket and she looked up as the door opened with a curious expression.

"Alex," Piper breathed.

Alex just looked at her for a couple of seconds that felt like hours, then frowned slightly. "Do you always open the door with your tits on show, or am I just special?"

Piper looked down quickly, then grasped the front of her blouse, pulling it together and covering her bra, a flush rising from her chest, up her neck and finally reaching her cheeks.

"I was… I was changing."

"Uh huh."

They stood there for another couple of seconds in the doorway, just looking at each other, until Piper's brain finally kicked into action and she stepped back.

"Please," she said, holding the door open. "Come in, I'll just be a minute."

She closed the door behind Alex and hurried into the bedroom, fastening the remaining buttons of her blouse as she went. She pulled off Polly's sweats, hopping on one leg and crashing heavily into the wardrobe, before righting herself and stepping into a pair of dark blue skinny jeans. She shook her hair out of the loose ponytail it had been in all afternoon as she made her way into the adjoining bathroom where she quickly brushed her teeth for the first time that day. She combed her hair, dabbed a little perfume behind her ears and then finally padded barefoot to the loungeroom.

She paused in the doorway, watching Alex who was browsing one of her bookshelves. She pulled a book out, read the jacket, then slid it back into position again, before ghosting her fingertips along more spines and selecting another.

"It's been a while since I've been here," Alex said without turning around, her words the only acknowledgement of her awareness of Piper's presence.

Piper didn't reply.

Alex's jacket lay on the back of the two-seater couch and Piper trailed her fingers over it lightly as she slowly approached.

"Why is that, Pipes?" she asked, without turning around. She replaced the book she'd been studying and pulled out another, giving the jacket a quick glance before replacing it. "Why is it that I can count the number of times I've been here in the past six months on the fingers of one hand, whereas _you_ have your own drawer at my place. Two, in fact."

Piper moved up close behind Alex and placed her hands on the taller woman's hips. She felt her stiffen slightly, but didn't let go. She kissed a visible patch of skin on the back of Alex's left shoulder, then rested her forehead against the same spot.

When Alex didn't pull away, Piper grew in confidence and began to slowly move her hands. She slid the palm of her left hand under the hem of Alex's tank top, stroking her abdomen gently. Her lips moved softly over the other woman's shoulders, placing delicate openmouthed kisses against every piece of exposed skin she could find. She felt Alex relax slightly and moved her hand higher, fingers gliding over ribs, noticing the slight change in the other woman's breathing as the back of her hand made contact with the soft swell of the underside of her breast.

Piper moved her right hand up to Alex's hair, pulling it back over her left shoulder, exposing her neck. She kissed along her shoulder, then dragged her lips up the side of her neck, before opening her mouth and scraping her teeth over the soft skin below her ear. Alex let out an unsteady breath, tilting her head to the right without even realising she was doing so. Piper turned her hand over and cupped Alex's breast, squeezing it gently, holding her even closer. Her right hand moved to the button at the waist of Alex's jeans and popped it open, allowing her fingers to slide inside.

She felt Alex's long fingers close around her wrist, then heard her voice rasp "No, Piper."

"Shhhh," she breathed against her neck, squeezing her breast a little harder.

"Piper, stop."

Piper didn't want to stop and she made this pretty clear as she began sucking on the skin of Alex's neck, biting gently as she pulled the skin between her teeth, her fingers now kneading her breast, other hand pulling against the strong grip Alex had on her wrist.

"I said _no_ , Piper!" Alex stepped away, tearing herself from the blonde woman's grasp and turning around to face her.

"Why, Al?" Piper murmured as she closed the gap between them, her hands reaching up to hold Alex's face and pull her down. "I don't wanna stop," she whispered, scattering small soft kisses across her cheekbone, "Let me make it up to you. I wanna do this," she breathed as she kissed the corner of the brunette's mouth, "I wanna do _you_."

Alex moved her hands to Piper's wrists and held them firmly, pulling them down and away from her face. She held her arms between them, hands at chest level, not letting go. She looked Piper in the eye.

"You wanna fuck, Pipes?" Her voice was quiet, soft.

"I want to fuck _you_ , yeah," she murmured, her voice thick with desire.

"You think that'll fix this? A fuck?"

A hint of doubt began to creep into Piper's voice as she replied, a little less confidently "I don't know, but I'm willing to give it a try if you are."

Alex wet her lips, holding Piper's gaze. "I'm not."

She released Piper's wrists and moved away, leaving Piper standing looking at the bookcase in front of her, hands still at her chest, unmoving.

Alex sat on the arm of the couch and looked at Piper who still hadn't turned around.

"You can't fix everything with sex, Piper."

Piper just shook her head, her back still turned to Alex.

"You think that a fuck will make this go away? You think that if you make me come, I'll forget that the reason I've only been in this apartment a handful of times is because you're ashamed of me?"

Piper shook her head and slowly turned around. "It isn't like that," she tried, her voice quiet.

"Isn't it? It seems pretty clear to me that that's _exactly_ what it's like."

Piper took a couple of steps toward the other woman, looking her in the eye. "I'm sorry if that's what you think. I'm sorry if that's how I made you feel. It isn't the case. I'm not _ashamed_ of you, Alex. I..." she hesitated and took another step closer.

She reached out and took hold of Alex's hand. A frown furrowed her brow and she seemed to be struggling to work out just how to put her thoughts into words. She looked at their joined hands and spoke to them, rather than Alex's face.

"I hurt you today."

Alex didn't reply.

"I didn't intend that."

Still silence.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking up at her face. "I really am, Al. I don't ever want to do that."

She chewed the inside of her bottom lip, looked at a point over Alex's shoulder then continued. "I was talking to Polly about you earlier and she said that we only hurt the ones we love."

Alex sat up a little straighter, certain she must've misheard. "I'm sorry, you were _what_?"

Piper looked the taller woman in the eye, her voice soft and quiet. "You're right, we could fuck, but it wouldn't change anything. So I began the process of changing everything this afternoon instead. I told her about you, I told her everything. I even told her about how she interrupted us in the bathroom last night. I told her how you make me feel. How much I miss you when you're not with me. How I think about you all the time. _All_ the time, Al. I told her how you make me laugh and make me happy and make me feel safe." She paused, trying to read Alex's facial expression, then ploughed on regardless. "I told her how much I love you."

"You haven't told me that."

"No, I haven't."

"You should."

Piper's lips twitched into the first hint of a smile. She moved closer to Alex, still holding her hand, so close that their lips couldn't have been any closer without actually making contact. "I should?"

"Mmmm."

"Can't I just show you?"

"Tell me..." Alex murmured.

She paused, breathing slowly, holding Alex's gaze then whispered "I love you so fucking much, Alex," she paused again briefly then added "We belong together now. You got a piece of me, and honestly, my life would suck without you."

Alex smiled a slow, genuine smile. "Did you just _Kelly Clarkson_ me?"

Piper tried hard to keep the grin from her face. "You noticed that, huh?"

"Hard not to."

"Sorry."

"It's a good job you're so fucking hot, or I'd have dumped your ass for that."

Piper looped her arms around Alex's neck. "No you wouldn't."

"No?"

"No," Piper murmured, as she placed a soft kiss on the corner of Alex's mouth, "because nobody can make you come like I can make you come."

"Is that right?"

"That's right."

"Prove it."


	6. I'll be the sky above the Ganges

**A/N: This chapter is rated M. You know what that means and if you shouldn't be reading it, you should stop now.**

* * *

Chapter 6: I'll be the sky above the Ganges

 _I'll be the sky above the Ganges  
I'll be the vast and stormy sea  
I'll be the lights that guide you inward  
I'll be the visions you will see_

Piper turned her head slightly and captured Alex's lips with her own. The kiss started slow and soft, lips moving against each other's, unhurried. Alex was happy to let Piper take the lead, placing her hands on the other woman's hips as the tip of Piper's tongue touched her lips, seeking entrance. Alex obliged, parting her lips and allowing the other woman to deepen the kiss.

Piper slid her hands into Alex's long, dark hair, grasped a handful at the back of her head and yanked it backwards without warning. Alex's head snapped back, the kiss broken and a quiet gasp escaped her lips. Piper immediately dipped her head and kissed a line down the front of the other woman's throat, her hand still tight in her hair. Alex tightened her hold on Piper's hips, fingernails scratching against the fabric of her jeans.

"Fuck, Pipes," she breathed.

Piper trailed the backs of the fingers of one hand down the side of Alex's neck, the other still tight in her hair, her lips kissing the soft skin under her jaw. Her hand continued its slow journey south, brushing the side of Alex's breast and still going, stopping at her waist. Her fingers found their way under the tank top and to skin, immediately moving up again back to her breast.

"Take this off," she whispered and Alex was only too happy to comply. She leaned back a little and pulled the tank top off over her head, throwing it carelessly onto the couch behind her.

Piper's lips immediately moved to the swell of her breasts, both of her hands reaching for the clasp of Alex's bra.

Alex laughed quietly a few seconds later, when Piper had still failed to unhook her bra, her fingers fumbling clumsily against her back.

"You need a hand there, kid?" she asked, the smile evident in her voice.

"Damn thing!" Piper exclaimed, moving her head away and trying to lean around Alex to see what she was doing. She eventually managed to unhook the offending garment and threw it aside in frustration.

"Slick, Pipes. Way to go. Really enhanced the moment," Alex grinned.

"Shut up," Piper replied, her hands moving to cup Alex's full breasts, her thumbs rubbing over her nipples.

" _Ohhh_ -kay," Alex managed, moments before Piper captured her lips once more.

Piper's tongue pushed inside Alex's mouth as her hands continued to squeeze and stroke and caress her breasts. She pinched one of her nipples and heard Alex gasp quietly into the kiss.

Piper pulled away abruptly, grabbed one of Alex's wrists and all but dragged her into the bedroom. Once there she wasted no time in manoeuvring the other woman onto the bed, pushing her back forcefully and following her down onto the mattress.

Piper's lips closed around one of Alex's nipples and the brunette's back arched as her hand automatically moved to the back of Piper's head, holding her in place. Piper's hands moved to the waist of her lover's jeans and she unfastened them without any of the difficulties the bra had posed.

She pulled away, hooking her hands into the waistband of the jeans and pulled them down, Alex lifting her hips from the bed obligingly. Piper dragged the jeans down to Alex's ankles where they stopped, caught on her Cons.

"Fuck!" Alex muttered in frustration as she tried in vain to shake the jeans off her feet.

"Fuck it," Piper replied, leaving them bunched around Alex's ankles as she changed her position, leaning down again and kissing the inside of her milky white thigh.

Alex let out a quick, short breath at the contact then pushed herself up onto her elbows, looking down her body towards the blonde woman, still fully clothed, who was kneeling on the mattress beside her, her back curved as she bent to kiss the soft skin of her thigh. Piper's lips moved achingly slowly over her skin, inching their way closer to the apex of her thighs and she fell back to the mattress heavily as Piper's nose brushed against the thin white cotton of her panties.

Alex lifted one knee slightly and let it fall to the side, raising her hips a little as she silently encouraged Piper to continue. Piper smiled to herself and drew her nose along Alex's centre, inhaling deeply as she did so, feeling the warmth emanating from the other woman's core. Alex clenched and unclenched her fists, desperately wanting to entwine her fingers in the blonde's hair and force her to increase the contact, but fighting the urge to do so.

"Piper..." she murmured, a hint of a plea in her tone.

"Mmmm?"

"Please, Piper."

Piper didn't reply, she just lowered her head a little more and dragged her tongue along Alex's centre, slowly and deliberately, licking her through the fabric of her underwear.

Alex let out a low moan and raised her hips a little higher, trying to part her thighs wider and then groaning in frustration at the restriction caused by her jeans, still bunched around her ankles.

Piper seemed unperturbed by the jeans and Alex's obvious frustration and continued playing her tongue over her panties, pushing harder against the material, becoming increasingly aware of the wetness that was beginning to seep into the cotton from her lover's hot core. Alex jerked involuntarily as Piper's probing tongue made brief contact with her clit then moved on again, letting out a quiet moan that spoke loudly of her desire. Piper obliged, pushing her tongue once more against the small nub, drawing a quiet indistinguishable sound from the other woman. She focused her attention on this one spot for several seconds, aware of the gentle roll of Alex's hips against her face and the small breathy sounds that were escaping her lips.

She pulled away a moment later, much to Alex's chagrin, but only to free her of the jeans that were caught at her feet. She quickly untied one shoe, threw it towards the doorway, then dragged the jeans off over Alex's foot. The other leg remained caught, the jeans tangled around her shoe, but Piper didn't make any effort to remove it, instead moving between her lover's legs and dipping her head once more.

Alex's hips jerked upwards as Piper's tongue made contact with her panties again and this time she immediately moved her hand to the other woman's head, sliding her fingers into her hair and holding her in place as she moved her hips rhythmically against her face. She moved her legs, parting them wider, desperate to have more, take more, feel more of Piper's exquisite touch.

Piper knew Alex. She knew how she liked to be touched, teased, tormented. She knew what she could take, where her limits were, and she knew just how to respond to each small sound and movement her lover made. She knew exactly when it was time to give her a little bit more and that's precisely what she did.

Hooking two fingers into the side of her panties, Piper pulled them aside and wasted no time in dragging her tongue along Alex's centre, moaning quietly at the taste of the other woman. After three long licks, she circled the tip of her tongue around Alex's clit before flicking her tongue over it rapidly, noting the change in her lover's breathing and the increased pull on her hair as Alex entwined her fingers in the long blonde strands and twisted, tugging without even realising she was doing so. Piper concentrated solely on this small centre of pleasure, licking and sucking and biting gently until she felt the tension building within her lover, recognising the subtle changes that told her Alex was getting close to her climax.

"Piper, Pipes…" Alex rasped, her voice thick.

Piper waited, noting the tension in Alex's thighs as she pressed her heels into the mattress, the way her hips pushed up ever so slightly, the change in her breathing, the increasingly tight grip in her hair, all the while continuing to bathe her clit with kisses, licks, bites and then… and then… just as Alex reached the point of no return, she plunged two fingers hard inside her without warning.

Alex cried out, releasing Piper's hair, both hands flying to grasp her own long dark hair as her head pushed back into the pillow, eyes squeezed tightly closed as stars exploded behind her eyelids and she came, the muscles in her abdomen twitching as she clenched and relaxed around Piper's fingers, completely overtaken by the reaction of her body to the delicious touch of her lover.

Piper pushed up on one elbow and looked up at Alex, fingers of her other hand still buried inside her. She turned her head to the side and wiped her mouth on her shoulder, before looking at Alex again and biting her bottom lip to hold back a smile. She watched as Alex slowly regained control of her breathing, watched as her body unwound and the tension ebbed away. Watched as she let out a long, slow, heavy breath. Watched as she came down from her high and relaxed back against the mattress.

Piper watched until Alex was completely still other than the slow rise and fall of her chest and then slowly began to move her fingers, thrusting them in and out of Alex's warm, wet hole. She watched as Alex quickly raised her head and looked at her, watched as the words of protest died on her lips when she saw the look in Piper's eyes. Alex held that gaze for as long as she possibly could, until Piper's thumb made contact with her highly sensitised clit once more and she could do nothing but fall helplessly back onto the bed.

Piper allowed herself a small smile and continued to watch Alex as she succumbed to the skilled, deliberate, agonising touch of her hand. Her fingers thrust harder, pushing deeper, her thumb continued to skip and dance over Alex's most sensitive spot and she watched as Alex's body responded automatically, moving against her hand, unable to resist. When Alex came again, not thirty seconds later, it was Piper's name that fell from her lips, breathing it over and over, whispering it almost like a prayer.

"You're right," she whispered into the silence a few minutes later, when her breathing had slowed and Piper had moved to lie alongside her.

She turned her head on the pillow and looked at her lover, who remained silent but with a questioning expression on her face.

"Nobody makes me come like you make me come."

Piper didn't move or respond for several long seconds, before leaning in and kissing Alex softly on the lips.

"Nobody loves you like I do either," she breathed.


	7. The visions you will see

**A/N: Apologies for the delay in getting this chapter up. Life, work, getting married... you know how it is.**

* * *

Chapter 7: The visions you will see.

 _The visions you will see.  
_ _you will see.  
_ _you will see.  
_ _you and me.  
_ _you and me.  
_ _you and me._

When Alex awoke the next morning, Piper was beside her. She turned her head on the pillow and found the blonde woman already awake, lying on her side, hands tucked under the pillow, watching her silently.

"Hey," she whispered, her voice still thick with sleep.

Piper's lips curved into a small smile. "Good morning," she murmured.

Alex looked up at the ceiling then rubbed a hand over her eyes, the usual morning fog slowly clearing from her mind. She breathed out slowly, then looked back at Piper again.

"How long've you been awake?"

A shrug, a glance at the clock on the bedside table. "About forty minutes. Forty-five, maybe."

"Time 'sit?"

"Almost ten."

Alex breathed out a quiet sigh, letting her eyes close again.

Piper didn't move.

"You know it's weird, don't you." Alex stated quietly a few moments later, without opening her eyes.

"Hmm?"

"Watching someone else sleep. It's weird." She opened her eyes and looked at Piper again, before adding "And a little creepy."

Piper smiled a little more. "Don't care," she murmured, "I like waking with you. It's nice."

"Nice?"

"Mmm."

"Careful you don't go overboard with the descriptors there, Pipes."

"I like that, too."

"Hmm?"

"When you call me 'Pipes'. I like it. It's different when you do it, from other people I mean, when they do it I get a little irritated sometimes, but not when you do it. When you do it it's nice."

Alex looked at Piper for a few seconds, studying her face. "You're really fucking weird, _Pipes_. I mean truly, bordering on needing a full-time carer kinda weird."

Piper shrugged dismissively, smiling slightly. "I don't care. You can call it weird, I call it happy."

"Happy."

"Uh huh."

"Why're you happy?"

"Lots of reasons, I guess."

"Again with being overly descriptive."

Piper smiled a little more, then propped herself up on one elbow, resting her head against the palm of her hand, looking down at Alex.

"I woke up beside you, your foot was pushed between my ankles and your hair was on my pillow and your arm was around my waist and your skin was warm and _I_ was warm and I just thought, I don't know, I just thought _I like this. This makes me feel happy_. I don't know how to describe it any better than that. I almost didn't want you to wake up, because then it would have ended, that moment. That one, perfect, happy moment."

"So what you're saying," Alex began slowly "is that you're at your happiest when I'm unconscious."

A soft, quiet laugh falls from Piper's lips and Alex looks up at her and grins.

"I didn't say that."

"You kinda did."

"I kinda love you."

"I kinda know."

* * *

Breakfast was eggs and coffee, made by Alex in Piper's small kitchen. They sat on opposite sides of the counter, eating in silence, watching each other, smiling occasionally. Alex wore the blue Nirvana t-shirt Piper had discarded and a pair of shorts she'd found on top of the laundry basket. Piper wore a black silk gown that was sinfully short. Alex approved of this. A lot.

"You make good eggs," Piper said, pushing her empty plate away.

Alex gave a half-smile. "There's a really bad line there somewhere about making good babies I'm pretty sure, but I can't quite grasp it."

"I'm grateful." Piper replied, sipping her coffee.

"Me too," Alex murmured, not meeting Piper's eyes and not talking about lines any more either.

There was a protracted silence before Piper spoke again.

"About yesterday..."

Alex stiffened slightly and avoided Piper's gaze. "I'm not sure I wanna talk about yesterday."

"I think we should."

Alex grimaced, staring into her cup of coffee. Eventually she spoke, her voice quiet "I'd rather talk about today. Or tomorrow. Yesterday's gone. It's all done."

"Is it?"

Alex looked up at Piper, "Isn't it?"

Piper studied Alex's face for a moment, then murmured "I'm gonna take a shower."

Alex poured herself another cup of coffee and watched Piper head into the bathroom. She moved to sit on the small sofa, drawing her legs up under her, cradling the mug of coffee in two hands. She listened as Piper moved around the bathroom, heard the water start, heard the disruption of the flow as Piper stepped into the shower.

Alex let out a quiet sigh and rested her head back on the sofa, letting her eyes close. She thought about the events of the previous day, about Piper's unexpected use of the L word, about her even more unexpected disclosure to Polly that they'd been seeing each other. She wondered what this meant exactly and knew that the only way to find out would be to have the conversation that Piper had tried to start, but she was too scared to have that conversation. Too scared that she was reading too much into, well, _everything_ , and too scared of fucking up what they had to ask the questions only Piper had the answers to.

She reached behind her and dragged her jacket from the back of the couch, then pulled her phone from the inside pocket.

Two rings, then her mother's voice. "Hello?"

"Hey ma. It's me."

"Hey kiddo. How you doin'?"

"Mmm. Okay I think."

"You think?"

"I'm at Piper's place. She's taking a shower."

" _Piper_. That your girl? The special one?"

"Yeah."

"You didn't tell me she had a weird-ass name. What kinda name is Piper? Does she play the flute?"

Alex smiled. "Cut it out."

She heard the smile in her mother's voice as she continued "Does she lure rats away from the city? Play in a marching band?"

Alex laughed quietly. "Quit it, ma."

"Sorry, sorry. You gotta admit it's an unusual name though."

"Maybe. Makes her special though, right?"

"I don't know, honey. You tell me."

"Yeah, pretty special."

There's a pause, a silence on the line, then Alex speaks again, trying to keep her tone light and casual. And failing.

"She told her best friend about me yesterday."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"Told her what?"

"I don't know. That she'd been seeing me, I guess. Stuff. Something. I don't know."

"Secret's out in the open, then."

"Yep."

"I thought that was what you wanted."

"Yeah. Yeah I did. I do."

"You don't exactly sound like you're doing cartwheels, baby."

Alex sighed. Pinched the bridge of her nose. Her voice was quiet when she replied. "I'm scared, ma. I'm scared of saying or doing the wrong thing and fucking everything up. I hated being her secret, _hated_ it, but I knew the rules then. I don't know the rules anymore. I don't know what this means. I mean… what? Is she my _girlfriend_ now?"

"Jeez, Alex. Can you hear yourself?"

Alex frowned, didn't reply.

"Stop, Al. Stop it right now, honey. Stop thinking, stop worrying, stop dwelling and just go with it. The way you were talking about this girl yesterday, you made her sound like she was everything you ever wanted. Am I right?"

"Yeah."

"So today, you have everything you ever wanted and the one extra thing too. Relax, kiddo. Stop thinking. Just enjoy it."

Alex breathed out slowly. Quietly she said "Yeah. Yeah, thanks mom."

"Does she know you're overthinking this?"

"Maybe. I'm not sure. She wanted to talk earlier, but..."

"But you shut her down and cut her off and left her completely in the dark."

"I don't like that description."

"But I'm right."

" _Fuck_." Alex breathed. She realised her mother was right – again. She realised she'd had the opportnity to talk with Piper properly, to tell her about her concerns, to work things out, to discuss things like _adults_ and work out a way forward. Together.

Diane let the silence between them linger for a few seconds, giving her daughter the space she needed to order her thoughts.

"Al?" she eventually murmured, "You okay baby?"

"It isn't you I should be speaking to right now, is it."

"Not really, babe."

"I gotta go, ma."

"Yes you do."

Alex hesitated for just a moment, before saying "Thank you, mom. Again."

"Love you, kiddo." Diane said, before ending the call.

Alex smiled slightly, then stuffed the phone back into her jacket pocket. She took one last swig of coffee, then placed the mug on the table, pushed herself off the sofa and headed towards the bathroom.

She'd covered just four feet before she was startled by a knock on the apartment door. Four fast knocks, short, sharp, hard raps. She paused, looked from the door to the bathroom and back again, before deciding that although not exactly respectable, she was probably more suitably dressed to answer the door than Piper was right at that moment.

She unlocked the apartment door and pulled it open, to find a short, mousey woman standing on the threshold.

"Oh," the woman said, looking at Alex.

Alex was impressed at how this woman had managed to convey surprise, disappointment and even a hint of contempt in just that one syllable. Before she could reply, the woman spoke again.

"That's _my_ t-shirt."

Alex looked down at the blue Nirvana t-shirt that just about afforded her some dignity, then looked back at the woman. "Right. Sorry. You want it back now?"

As she made to pull the t-shirt up and over her head, she heard a short panicked shriek and looked back at the woman who held both hands up, shaking her head vigorously.

Alex smirked then shrugged. "Whatever you want."

"You must be Alex."

"And you must be Holly."

"Polly." Not quite able to hide the irritation from her voice.

"Sure, right. That's it. Polly." Not quite able to hide the amusement.

"Is Piper…?" Polly started, leaning to the side trying to peer into the apartment.

"Tied to the bed. Sorry."

Polly flushed a deep shade of red, her eyes wide. Flustered, she didn't quite know how to reply.

"I'd go untie her, but she made me promise not to. Not until midday, anyway. I'm quite happy to remove the ball-gag so you two can talk though, come on in."

She stepped back, pulling the door open wider, then stopped. "Oh wait! Just give me a second. I'll go cover her with a sheet or something. I mean, I know you two are friends, but you're not _that_ kind of friends, right?"

Polly was still firmly rooted to the _safe_ side of the apartment door, making no move at all to enter the room.

Alex paused before moving away, then leaned against the doorframe. She looked Polly up and down slowly, almost leering at her.

"Unless you _are_ that kind of friend," she began, her voice low. "I mean, I'm sure we could make room for another..."

All of the colour drained from Polly's previously flushed cheeks in an instant. She managed to choke out "I… I don't, I'm not… it's… _no_!"

"Aww c'mon," Alex started, clearly enjoying herself now. "Piper wouldn't mind. It'd be fun."

"Piper wouldn't mind what?" The blonde woman's voice floated through the open door and into the hallway and then she appeared in the space beside Alex, fully clothed, definitely not tied to anything, roughly rubbing her hair dry with a towel.

Alex couldn't contain a laugh as she saw the tension drain from Polly's face, then the colour rise up her cheeks in embarrassment as the realisation that Alex had been fucking with her slowly dawned.

"Hey!" Piper exclaimed, pleased to see her friend.

"Nothing babe," Alex said, brushing her lips across Piper's cheek. "I'm gonna go grab a shower, leave you two to it."

She stepped away from the door, nodded and winked at Piper's friend. "Nice to meet you, Molly."

" _Polly_!" the mousey haired woman replied, irritated.

"Sure, right. That's it." Alex replied absently as she headed towards the bathroom.

* * *

After her shower, Alex wandered back into Piper's bedroom wearing just a towel. Piper was standing in front of the dresser, apparently refolding already folded clothes and placing them on the bed.

"Hey kid."

Piper glanced across and smiled. "Hey," she murmured.

"Dolly still here?"

Piper's lips twitched slightly. "It's _Polly_ , as you well know. And no, she's gone."

"Aw. Pity." Alex replied with absolutely no conviction whatsoever.

"Apparently she wasn't up for a three-way. Who knew?"

Alex grinned. "I'm sorry. I was just fucking with her. It was so _easy_!"

" ** _You're_** so easy."

"It's why you love me."

"One of the reasons."

"There's more than one?"

"Yep." Piper closed the now empty drawer, picked up the bundle of clothes and moved towards the wardrobe.

Alex sat on the edge of the bed, watching her. "Tell me."

"Hmm?"

"Tell me why else you love me."

Piper pulled open the wardrobe and squashed the bundle of clothes into an already full shelf, then stood back and closed the door quickly before they could all fall out onto the floor. Alex smiled fondly, watching her.

Piper turned and leaned against the wardrobe door, her hands folded and resting against the small of her back.

"I made you a drawer."

"Huh?" Alex was genuinely confused.

Piper nodded her head towards the dresser and the now empty top drawer. "I made you a drawer. So you can have one. One of your own. For your things."

Alex whipped her head around, looking at the dresser, realising all of a sudden what Piper meant. She'd mentioned this last night, when she was angry and frustrated, but she hadn't realised what it was that Piper was doing, even as she sat and watched her clear the drawer.

"Why?" she asked, quietly, still looking at the dresser.

Piper shrugged. "Because I love you."

"Why?" Alex asked again, turning back to look at Piper.

"Because you give great head." Piper replied with a dismissive flick of her hand as she moved away from the wardrobe and back towards the bathroom.

Alex burst out laughing. A genuine laugh that began deep in her belly somewhere and reverberated against her ribs until it spilled out of her, an enormous smile cracking her face.

She fell back against the mattress and smiled up at the ceiling. She had a feeling everything was going to be just fine.


	8. You and me

Chapter 8: You and Me

 _You and me.  
_ _You and me.  
_ _You and me._

They talked. They talked and incredibly the world didn't end and the sky didn't fall in and actually, maybe talking wasn't so bad after all. It sure beat guessing anyway.

They fell into a new routine. One that involved no sneaking around, no secret meetings, no stolen moments because now, now they had all the time in the world and nobody to hide from. Alex liked it better this way. Piper did too.

They even went on a double date with Polly and Pete, which was interesting if nothing else. Alex liked Pete, liked the way he introduced himself with the words " _I offered to kick your arse you know, but Piper wouldn't let me. I thought you were a bloke at the time but still, she's no bloody fun!_ "

Polly was a little more distant, a little more standoffish, a little more wary. Alex secretly liked this wariness, but she'd never tell Piper that. Alex liked to flirt with Polly, just to see her obvious discomfort and she was good at it, too. One day Polly would come to realise that if she played along and appeared receptive to Alex's advances, Alex would quit. But until that day came, Alex would continue to flirt and Polly would continue to squirm and Alex would love every damn minute of it.

It was a Thursday evening in Piper's apartment a month later when Alex turned a page in her book and casually said "I'm not gonna be around this weekend."

She was seated on the floor, her back leaning against the sofa where Piper sat crosslegged, laptop balanced on her knees.

"Oh?" Piper replied, peering around her laptop screen at the back of Alex's head.

"I'm going home."

"Home?"

"Home home. It's my mom's birthday."

"Ah, okay." Piper sat back again, turning her attention back to her computer. "Cool."

A few seconds of silence passed, until Alex spoke again.

"Wanna come?"

Piper tilted the screen of her laptop down and looked at Alex. She was sitting perfectly still, her back ramrod straight, apparently reading her book. The tension was rolling off her in waves and her breathing was shallow. Despite trying her damnedest to keep her voice calm and casual, the air of nonchalance she was going for when she uttered those two words was swallowed by tension and her question came out quiet, her voice tight.

Piper knew that this was a big deal for Alex. She knew that she shared a particularly close relationship with her mother and had the kind of respect that bordered on idolisation towards her. She knew that they spoke often and that her mother was often Alex's voice of reason. The calm in Alex's storm. She knew that Alex asking her if she wanted to go with her to meet her mother was a _huge_ leap forward in their relationship. This was Alex showing an incredible amount of commitment towards her and Piper knew it.

"Sure," she said, keeping her voice casual. "I don't think I have any other plans."

Piper watched as Alex nodded, just once, then focused on her book again. As she continued to watch, she saw Alex's shoulders relax as the tension she'd been holding eased away and observed as her breathing slowed into a more natural rhythm.

"Al?" Piper's voice was soft, quiet.

"Mm?"

"I love you, y'know?"

Alex turned her head and looked over her shoulder at Piper seated on the sofa behind her. She reached back and took hold of Piper's hand, squeezing it gently. She brushed her lips over Piper's knuckles before releasing her hand.

"I know, babe," she murmured as she turned back to her book again.

* * *

 _Am outside. xx_

Piper smiled as she read the text, then pushed the phone into her handbag and took one last look around her small apartment, checking she had everything she needed.

She picked up her overnight bag, draped a jacket over her arm and headed out to the waiting car.

Alex was standing at the rear of the car as Piper exited the building and popped the boot ready for her bag. She looked up as Piper approached and couldn't help doing a double-take. She was wearing a cream coloured cotton vintage sundress; sleeveless, delicately embroidered over the bodice and lightly flared from the waist. It ended just below the knee and her bare legs led to a pair of off-white Converse sneakers. Her blonde hair fell loose over her shoulders and the sun caught the natural highlights, making it look almost like she was _glowing_.

Alex sat on the lip at the back of the car and watched as Piper approached, thinking she was a vision of beauty.

"You're a vision of beauty," Alex murmured as she leaned in to kiss Piper's cheek when she reached the car. Piper ducked her head shyly as Alex took her bag and dropped it in the boot.

"Seriously, Pipes. You look amazing."

A faint blush crept into her cheeks and Piper chewed the inside of her lip.

 _She's so fucking adorable_ , Alex thought. She slammed the boot closed, then slipped her arm around Piper's waist.

"You're fucking adorable," she whispered, pulling the blonde woman closer. "I want to take you back inside and fuck you until you can't _breathe._ "

She felt rather than heard the short, quick exhalation of breath from Piper and felt the shorter woman's hands grab hold of the front of her jacket as she steadied herself. She turned her head and kissed the soft skin of Piper's neck just below her ear.

"Let's go," she whispered. "While I still can."

Piper smiled and pulled away, then made her way around to the passenger side of Alex's car and slid inside. She placed her handbag on the floor at her feet, folded the jacket in her lap, fastened her seatbelt and settled in for what was surely going to be the longest ride of her life.

* * *

A little under three hours later, Alex backed the car into a parking space outside a small two-storey apartment complex. Piper was asleep, her head leaning against the window, but she woke the moment Alex killed the engine.

Alex unfastened her seatbelt and sat still for a few seconds, giving Piper a moment to wake properly.

"Hey beautiful," she smiled as Piper sat up and looked around, trying to get her bearings.

"Are we here?"

"Yeah."

"Already?"

"It's almost two, Pipes."

Piper rubbed the tips of her fingers over her closed eyelids, then ran her hands through her hair.

"Wow," she murmured. "I'm great company on a roadtrip, huh?"

Alex smiled and squeezed Piper's knee gently. "No-one I'd rather ride with, kid."

She pushed the door open, climbed out and stretched, easing away the stiffness brought on by the journey. She watched as Piper slipped out of the car and made her way around to stand beside her. The younger woman looked nervous, her hands fidgeting with the strap of her handbag, her eyes darting around in all directions.

She reached out and took hold of both of Piper's hands, holding them in her own. "Relax, babe. It's all good."

"What if she hates me?" Piper blurted, startling herself with her honesty.

Alex's expression moved from a frown to confusion and then softened into a smile. "Impossible," she replied with absolute certainty.

"You don't know that!" Piper was trying to keep her voice down, but was struggling a little. The concerns she'd managed to keep bottled up for the past two days were now threatening to bubble over as the reality of the situation hit her. She was about to meet Alex's mother, Alex's fucking _hero_

and she was absolutely terrified that the woman wouldn't like her.

Alex slid her arms around Piper's waist and held her close. "Piper." she murmured, "Piper, seriously. Take a breath, relax. C'mon, kid. It's my _mom_ , not the fuckin' _Pope_."

"I think meeting the Pope might be easier. I think I know the protocol for that scenario. You genuflect and kiss his ring."

"You kiss his _what_?!"

"On his _**hand**_ , Alex."

"Please don't kiss my mom's ring, Pipes." A pause. "Any ring. No ring kissing. In fact, just no kissing anything. No kissing. At all."

Piper can't help smiling and she rests her forehead on Alex's shoulder. Alex presses her lips to Piper's hair. "Be yourself, kid. She'll love you."

"Yeah?" Piper murmurs, still uncertain but a little less anxious.

"Of course." Another pause. "It worked for me."

Before Piper can really register Alex words, never mind formulate a response, she finds herself being pulled towards the staircase leading to the first floor.

Alex holds her hand tightly as she raps on the apartment door, two fast knocks then another after a half second pause. After a wait of three seconds the door is pulled open and Alex's mother appears in the doorway.

She immediately reaches out and envelops her daughter in a hug. The kind of hug that comes with a force that makes you ache when it's happening, then ache when it's over as you feel a real sense of loss when the contact disappears. Piper stands back, smiling as she watches mother and daughter reconnect, listening to Diane's murmurs of " _My girl, here's my girl_ " over and over into the hug.

Eventually they pull away and Alex take's Piper's hand again.

"Piper, this is my mom. Mom, this is..."

Diane steps forward and cuts Alex off, opening her arms and pulling Piper into them. "Hush hush, I know who this is." As she hugs Piper tightly, she murmurs "You're the special one, Piper. I'm so happy to finally meet you."

Piper's caught a little off-guard with this and doesn't really know what's so special about her, but she takes it in her stride and manages to murmur "Thank you, Mrs Vause. I've heard so much about you, it's good to meet you too."

This provokes a guffaw of laughter from the older woman who releases Piper from her hug, saying " _Mrs Vause_ was my grandmother, kiddo. It's Diane."

Piper smiles awkwardly, but nods her head. "Okay. Sorry."

Diane smiles at her fondly as she takes a step away. Alex moves beside Piper once more, her hand moving to the small of her back.

Diane gives them both the once-over before stepping back inside her apartment, speaking over her shoulder as she moves away. "I can't for the life of me understand why a girl this pretty would be with a slob like you, Alex. Honestly, Piper, you could do so much better!"

Alex lets out an indignant "Hey!" and Piper lets out a genuine laugh before replying "I know, right? I tell her this all the time."

"Come in here honey," Diane responds as she moves into the kitchen, "Let me start in with the stories about what a horrible child she was, I might even have some baby photos I can dig out..."

Piper grins and Alex groans and just like that, she isn't nervous anymore.

* * *

Later that night, after dinner, safely back at the apartment where Alex grew up, the three women sit in the loungeroom, a movie on TV and a bottle of wine being shared between them.

"Good birthday?" Alex asks, relaxing back into the couch.

"Great birthday," her mother replies. "One of the best."

"That's because I'm here," Piper chirps, a smile in her voice.

"Well obviously, that's true." Diane replies, smiling. "In fact next year, if you wanna stay home Alex and just send Piper, that's cool with me."

Alex rolls her eyes and slings an arm around Piper. "See? I knew this would happen. I told you not to kiss her ring."

Piper bursts out laughing, Diane spits wine all over herself and Alex grins, smugly. "You asked for that," she smiles, looking at her mother.

"It's my birthday, Alex. You're not meant to kill me on my own goddamn birthday!"

The three women laugh and Alex embarrasses Piper by relaying their earlier conversation about meeting the Pope being less daunting than meeting her mother.

"I feel so stupid now," Piper admits. "But it was a really big deal for me!"

Diane gives her a sympathetic smile.

Alex rolls her eyes.

"You're welcome here any time, hon. It's been a long time since I've seen my girl so happy."

Alex exclaims "Mom!"

"What? It's true! You always looked so fuckin' melancholy, Al. I'd almost forgotten what your smile looked like!"

"How much wine have you had?" Alex asks, cheekily.

Diane tuts and rolls her eyes. "You can deny it all you like, but we both know I'm not making this shit up."

Alex doesn't bother arguing with her mother. She just slides a little further down the couch and takes another sip of wine. There's no point arguing when she knows her mother is right. She tightens her arm around Piper, pulling her a little bit closer and turns her attention back to the movie.

By the time the credits roll, Piper is asleep curled into Alex's side.

"She's adorable," Diane says, her voice quiet, watching them both.

"I knew you'd like her," Alex replies, smiling softly.

"Definitely a keeper."

Alex presses her lips to Piper's hair, humming her agreement.

After a few moments of silence, Diane speaks again. "I meant what I said earlier. It's good to see you so happy."

Alex turns her head, resting her cheek against the top of Piper's head and just smiles at her mother.

"I don't think I've ever seen you so in love before."

Alex colours slightly, then murmurs "I never have been. She's very special."

"I can see that."

"I love her so fucking much, ma."

Piper chooses this precise moment to speak, her voice soft and eyes still closed. "Is now the right time to tell you I'm not actually asleep?"

Alex's eyes widen in surprise and she tries to pull away, but Piper doesn't let her, tightening her arm around her lover's waist.

"So, you love me, huh?" she asks, smiling up at Alex.

"You knew that already."

"Mmm. Never heard you say it though."

"Really?" Diane asks, with genuine surprise.

Piper shrugs and smiles at her. "Nope. She's right though, I did kinda suspect it."

Before Diane can reply, Alex places the tips of two fingers under Piper's jaw and turns her face back towards her. She looks down at her, at this beautiful woman who has made such a positive difference to her life and she knows that right now, right at this moment, there is nowhere in the world she'd rather be and nobody else she'd rather be with.

She looks into Piper's bright blue eyes and speaks quietly but clearly. "I love you, Piper Chapman. More than I ever thought I could love anybody, ever."

A smile creases Piper's face as she hears Alex's voice, clear and sincere and she moves a hand to Alex's cheek. She stretches up to kiss her, whispering "I know," just before their lips touch.

Diane watches this exchange in silence from her seat a few feet away, before murmuring "Best birthday present ever."

 _ **The End.**_

* * *

 **A/N:** _I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have followed, favourited and reviewed this story as it's progressed. This was my first attempt at a multi-chaptered story and your comments have been wonderful. I'm grateful for all of them - even the ones that didn't like the way the story was going, or the way the characters were developing. Artistic license. It's great, isn't it. :)_

 _Thank you for taking the time to read. I hope you've enjoyed the journey._

 _Jen._


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